


DNKB with a Gulp of Angst

by miilllkkkk



Series: DNKBNZ hell [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Glasses, M/M, Secret Relationship, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-22 09:48:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22314334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miilllkkkk/pseuds/miilllkkkk
Summary: Raihan returns home to Leon after 36 hours away with Piers.
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan
Series: DNKBNZ hell [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606159
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	DNKB with a Gulp of Angst

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece / continuation of my last fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22208452
> 
> This one is totally self-indulgent and angsty JUST FOR ME.

There are times when someone may prefer to be alone; a moment of peace and quiet to allow the mind to re-center itself. An empty house, void of other inhabitants even for a short while, could be just as warm and welcoming as if it were full to the brim with every person they’d ever loved. Before long though, the absence of another person could pull those peaceful feelings into a more solemn and lonely place. People are only meant to be alone for so long in an empty home, before they begin to feel unimportant and forgotten. It is only human to long for the attention of others, only to yearn for solitude away from those same people; too much of a good thing in either instance hardly remains that way.

His home, while rather lavish and expensive, was full of objects meant to fill that lonely void one might feel when they have been left alone too long. Photos depicting happy times and good memories with those he loved, and trophies given for huge accomplishments lined the walls of the spacious condo, and each surface was adorned with at least one item of importance from different moments in his life. He even had a space on a bookshelf for generous gifts from his adoring fans, hoping to make an impression on the current Champion, so that he’d spare a thought to them while at home, much like days like today. Despite the almost overwhelming amount of _stuff_ delicately placed within his home, Leon hardly ever felt that he truly belonged there when he was alone. It was as if he was invading another person’s space - the Champion’s space, in fact. Of course, Leon was the reigning Champion, but unfortunately it was a role he played outside of this home, one where he mustered endless confidence and pride to stand before so many people as a beacon of hope and overall _coolness_. The act of it all was a fun role to play when he was in the appropriate setting, he of course loved spending time with his fans, and battling willing challengers that ever made it to him, but none of it would matter as much to him without the constant in his life, his rival Raihan.

Without Raihan in this home with him, the place would never, ever be home to Leon. It was only ever a shadow of his life outside, a feint of a stronger individual that did not need to rely on someone else so heavily for happiness and love. He did not mean to be so reliant on the other man, it was just something that developed naturally, starting at the beginning of their journey together; he was sure Raihan needed him just as much, or at least he hoped so. It was hard to say whether Raihan truly preferred this arrangement to any of the other alternatives that lay before them, but Leon was as content as he could be despite it all.

As he sat on the couch, Leon began to grow anxious. His nerves always seemed to get the best of him before Raihan was meant to come home to him, as there was a small part within him that was convinced his lover had had enough.

_Only another hour_ , he thought to himself as he glanced at the clock burning into the corner of his large TV screen, a previous program left forgotten and neglected long enough to default back to a polite idle screen. Leon was unable to take the unbearable, pressing silence anymore, and began fussing around the house to make sure it was just as it always looked, tidy with a twist of organized chaos. This distraction only lasted him 10 or so minutes, that left him more anxious than he was moments prior - why did it always have to be this way?

_Freaking out over what hasn’t happened yet doesn’t help, Lee. Get it together._ With a sense of finality, he was finally able to find a distraction that was also beneficial to calming his nerves: a hot shower, hopefully one that would take long enough for Raihan to return just as he finished. He could only hope.

Leon’s massive bathroom was nicely lit with a warm glow, and the water was set to the perfect temperature that caused goosebumps to scatter across his bare skin upon stepping into the stall. It was nice to let the water pour down on him from the shower heads above that imitated rainfall. His anxiety began to melt almost immediately as hot water traced down the shapes and curves of his body, it always felt good to physically wash away the invasive thoughts and images. He took his time washing and rinsing shampoo and from his long mess of hair, and the smell of bergamot lifted his mood higher than it had been all weekend. As he scrubbed down with a rather harsh sponge and warming body wash, he imagined washing away each terrible thought he’d had the past few days - of Raihan kissing someone other than him, Raihan whispering broken promises to someone who did not deserve the luxury, and any image of Raihan’s body pressed against one that wasn’t his own. These invasive thoughts bubbled to the surface of his mind often when he was left alone, and it made him so sick with longing that he was sure he couldn’t handle it any longer.. only for his lover to come back to him at the peak of his misery. After a second harsh rake of the sponge over every last inch of his body, Leon deemed himself properly washed of the weekend’s misery, and hopped out of the shower.

The front door clicked open and slammed shut as Leon worked a wide-toothed comb through his wet tangle of hair, and an immense sense of relief washed over his entire being from the top of his head to the bottoms of his feet. They could continue on with their happy life uninterrupted, without the looming threat of Raihan leaving him again in the coming weeks.

“I’m in the bathroom, Rai!” Leon’s voice was a bit high thanks to the adrenaline rush of hearing Raihan finally come home to him, of having his worst fears brushed away by overwhelming delight. He managed to get his hair properly brushed, and halfway up into a messy clip as Raihan met him at the doorway, “Oh.. you look like shit. A-Are you okay?”

Raihan’s mood appeared to be rather low, his toothy grin gone from his face as he leaned in the doorway to watch the other man finish with his post-shower routine. Leon’s hands, still warm from the heat of the water, rested gently against Raihan’s cheeks as he looked up into the other’s blue-green eyes. There was something behind them that Leon couldn’t exactly understand, and that terrified him. Without hesitation, he leaned into Raihan and gave the taller man a soft kiss, his fingers curling under Raihan’s chin.

“I’m doin’ okay, Lee. Just a bit tired, and need to take a quick kip to the shower,” Raihan’s eyes did not necessarily avoid Leon’s, but he wasn’t really looking at him either. Leon could feel his heart dropping lower and lower, but he managed to squash those feelings so that he may be the strong, confident Leon that he knew Raihan loved and preferred to the mopey, insecure, and jealous Leon he’d seen quite a bit of lately.

He pulled Raihan further into the bathroom, and sat him down so that he could tend to the shower. As the water ran hot again and began to re-steam the bathroom mirror, Leon stood between Raihan’s legs and let the other rest his head on his chest. “What’s on your mind, Raihan? Did… did everything go, okay?” It hurt Leon to speak that way, to even mention where Raihan might have been, or who he may have been with, but he continued to mask his disdain with concern and warmth as he stroked his fingertips across his lover’s scalp. Raihan’s slight purr of a response to having his head scratched lifted Leon’s heart just a bit, pleased that Raihan still found comfort in these delicate moments.

“Yeah, all’s fine as fine as it can get,” Raihan’s eyes finally met Leon’s and held them a moment before they disappeared behind a shirt being pulled over his head. Leon could almost understand what it meant after a longer look, and it troubled him. Raihan continued undressing, his shoulders and chest marked with scratches and small bruises - _hickies, “_ I know you don’t like talkin’ about it, Lee, neither does he, so we can drop it, alright?”

With that, Raihan was standing up, causing Leon to step back a bit, frustration flitting across his face as the taller man undressed entirely. He hated it, especially at moments like this, but Leon’s body ached to be pressed against Raihan’s, to replace the old scratches with new, to remind Raihan that _they_ were madly and deeply in love.

“No, we can talk about it. It was my idea, wasn’t it?” Leon tried to stop his voice from raising, or faltering. The withered, but dismissive look from Raihan did not stop him from continuing, “I know it’s been difficult with our schedules and all, but, it will mellow out. You know that, don’t you? I’m not… I don’t want you to stay if—“

Raihan cut Leon off by pressing two fingers to his lips. Inside, Leon was furious that he was not standing up for himself, but instead was advocating for the relationship he never asked for. He felt it was pathetic of him to stumble over his words, to lose confidence and be almost at a loss for words to say what he really meant, and he knew that this was a part of himself that Raihan _loathed._

“Leon, please, can we drop it for now? For my sake?” Leon was about to protest, but he was silenced again by Raihan, this time with a kiss. Was it really this easy to put him in his place? Was he this desperate for attention, and confirmation that _they_ were the ones in love? Raihan’s lips were soft against his, and it was nothing if not sincere, “Let me just clean up, alrigh’?”

With that, the conversation was over. Leon simply nodded and let his fingers slip from Raihan’s as the taller man turned to enter the shower without another word; that was it, no more.

Leon left the bathroom and dressed himself in a daze, he could not let himself think the worst. He could not allow himself to think that Raihan had finally had enough of him, that he preferred someone else instead. The entire situation was fucked up, and it was his fault, so why should he agonize over it at all if it was he who orchestrated it and made it what it was? Of course, the entire relationship would not _need_ to be orchestrated if Raihan had not... if he had not allowed himself to lust after someone else.

It was Raihan’s idea to take his and Leon’s relationship public, Leon recognized this and threw it back in the other man’s face any time they’d fight over the scheduling that was _unfair_ to Piers. It was Raihan who was eager to publiclyprofess his love to his lifelong rival, while Leon himself had misgivings and wanted to keep the entire affair quiet and out of the limelight. If it wasn’t for Raihan’s insistence, and goddamn charm that eased Leon into being okay with going public at all, their relationship wouldn’t be failing. This upset him almost as much as the idea of Raihan bedding someone else did, and the entire ordeal wore on him more and more the longer it continued.

Leon sat reclined in the living room, absently staring at an unread page in the book resting on the arm rest the couch; it was usually easy to distract himself, but not tonight. Leon’s gaze focused here or there on random points in the room, avoiding the black and white pages at all costs. On the side table to his left, a large mug of tea sat untouched and now cold as he wait what seemed like an eternity for Raihan to finally emerge from the depths of the bathroom. Eventually, when he could hear that the water was no longer running, Leon steeled himself for the oncoming confrontation he could feel brewing between them. He did not want to fight, it was the last thing he wanted after spending a mere three days without Raihan, but he was sure they were due for an argument sometime soon.

He could hear Raihan’s feet pad across the carpet to him in the living room, a delicate sound despite the other man’s size and stature. He’d approached Leon wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, and it sent a hot flush across the smaller man’s face almost immediately. The book took a small tumble from the edge of the arm rest as the other sat down, causing Leon to scramble to snatch it up before it could thud to the floor. With a quick snap shut, he set the book on the coffee table and calmly turned to gaze upon Raihan’s wet form as he leaned against the back of the couch, “I always loved you in those glasses, Lee.”

The words caused his hand to stop at the arm of his glasses, and instead of removing them, Leon simply adjusted them and grinned his Champion’s grin to the other man, turning to face him more as he rested his shoulder into the back of the couch, “You always say that.. glad it still holds true.” He didn’t mean the words to sound bitter in any way, but there was a tinge there that he’d hope Raihan would not catch.

Sometimes, it pained him to look at Raihan; he was too beautiful for words, too immaculate for one person to covet. Any word his mind could conjure would not truly fit how he felt about this man, or how truly handsome he was. Despite the ache in his heart, and the dread in his stomach, Leon pushed on, “Feeling any better? You don’t look so tired anymore..”

Raihan shifted in the couch, making it rather clear that he did not want to talk about his feelings on that matter, simply mumbling a small confirmation that he was indeed feeling better. It was difficult to press the matter further as he sat there, legs slightly spread and his towel not doing as much as it could to cover him. Regardless, Leon continued, leaning closer to trace his fingertips against the other man’s outer thigh, “I missed you while you were away, you know, as usual…” he let his voice linger on the air, before sliding his hand farther up Raihan’s thigh. He was met with that toothy grin he loved so much, and he knew right away he’d made the right choice not to poke deeper into such a sensitive subject, and to instead stay on the surface as if there was no underlying pain and heartache between them.

Leon pushed himself forward, pressing a hand against the back of the couch as he gripped onto the other man’s chin, pulling him into another soft kiss. Raihan’s breathing deepened, and he gripped onto the back of Leon’s neck, pulling him deeper into that kiss. Elated, Leon pushed deeper, and found himself pressed between Raihan’s legs and against his chest, a place he was most comfortable to be. Although still a bit damp, Raihan was warm, and welcoming as his mouth traced down the edges of Leon’s jaw, nipping here and there as he continued down the smaller man’s neck, capturing him in a delicate space of comfort, familiarity, and burning desire. It was really this easy to appease him, it was really so simple to abate any and all negative thoughts that crept in, and in a way.. Leon found it sad, even heartbreaking. The comfort, and sense of belonging that Raihan gave to him felt so natural, and it was easy to fall back into that blind space of comfort, so easy that it was triggered by something as small as a twist of a lock of his hair. Raihan could destroy Leon if he abused this effect he had on him, and the smaller of the two was not so sure that he could trust the other _not_ to take advantage of that fact.

Before either of them knew it, Leon had Raihan pressed into the arm rest of the couch, the palm of his hand tracing down the delicate curves of his chest and abs, down to Raihan’s hip and thigh, “You weren’t kiddin’ that you missed me, huh, Lee?” Raihan’s voice was hoarse as Leon’s mouth found the length of his half-hard cock. He furrowed his eyebrows as the smaller man gripped his length, and began tracing the shape of it with his tongue, pressing his lips against each sensitive vein and at the frenulum beneath the head. Raihan was so easy to get worked up, and Leon knew every small trick to really get him going. Despite this, it was plain that Leon was desperate for this, desperate to reclaim his spot within Raihan’s mind for whose mouth was meant to be on him. Leon let out a light pant as he pressed his tongue flatly against the head of Raihan’s cock, the resulting shudder and moan sending smug waves of lust and adoration through his entire body.

Raihan wound his hands through lengths of Leon’s hair after working it free from the hair clip keeping it out of the other man’s face, the fresh smell of bergamot shampoo wafting from his damp hair while he lowered his head down onto the length of Raihan’s cock. It was easy to take him down, each bob of his head pushing himself a little farther beyond that limit; all the while Leon kept his tongue flat against the base of Raihan’s cock as to ease it deeper and deeper. Leon let out a throaty groan as the other man started to push his head down a little more roughly, as he did when he started falling deeper into sensual greed; it pleased him greatly to know that Raihan ached for him as much as he’d hoped. As the length of Raihan’s cock started to hit the back of Leon’s throat, with excessive pressure being placed on his head, Leon groaned deeper and pushed himself further until his nose was pressed against Raihan’s pubic bone. This made the other man lift his hips up from the couch, the fluid motion gagging Leon before he could pull back and release the now throbbing cock from the depths of his throat. Before pulling himself from Raihan’s twitching erection, Leon continued to indulge himself, bobbing his head up and down the length as the other man gripped and tugged at his hair, each small yank sending shudders through his body all while his throat began to feel more and more abused by deep throating his rival so thoroughly.

As he finally sat up, Leon adjusted his glasses as they slid down the bridge of his nose, and he smirked down at Raihan; the taller man was a blushy, gooey mess beneath him. Raihan grasped for Leon, his hands finding the edges of his loose t-shirt and the ends of his hair, and with a firm tug he had him pressed into him again. The two pressed together as they kissed, Leon’s hair cascading down over his back and onto Raihan’s chest, the larger man’s hands finding their way down the curves and valleys of his hips and ass. It didn’t take Leon much coaxing to get his ass bared and pressed onto Raihan’s eager dick - he always wanted his rival inside of him; there was an ache, a need to connect with Raihan this way. Leon sat up in Raihan’s lap, towering over him as he gazed down at his rival, his Champion’s grin sliding across his face as he watched Raihan’s eyelids lower, his own expression betraying the cool air he tried to maintain even when he was balls deep within the Champion. Leon’s own air of triumph and desire started to falter as he lowered himself inches deeper and deeper into Raihan’s lap, his rival’s cock roughly sliding deeply into him with each small buck of his hips.

With a loud and heavy moan, Leon began to press and grind his ass down onto Raihan’s dick, savoring every inch buried within him as Raihan’s hands slid up his hips and torso, “Ahh, goddamnit, Raihan..”

His rival’s mouth found his throat again, and he began to ride the other man’s throbbing cock as Raihan bit and sucked at each intricate curve and dip of the Champion’s neck and clavicle. Leon couldn’t help but moan louder, he was almost needy as he yearned for Raihan’s touch and sharp bites, his own hands raking against the other man’s scalp as his thighs worked hard to bring him up and down the length of his ever-stiffening dick. Raihan began to trail his mouth down Leon’s chest as his hands pushed that loose shirt up and over the Champion’s pecs, baring his heaving chest and perky nipples, thus making them vulnerable to rough nips here and there with fanged teeth. Leon’s moans began to catch in his throat as Raihan gripped him tighter, and as his rival began to bite and suck at his nipples; this always sent a dull ache through his body, making him crave Raihan even more.

Raihan’s teeth and tongue scraped against each of Leon’s nipples, leaving them blushing and glistening, all the while he had his hands gripped firmly underneath Leon’s buttcheeks, as a way to help the Champion ride his cock more thoroughly. Without warning or hesitation, Raihan sat himself up and began to push Leon back into the couch; the Champion lay on his back, his chest and heart bared for his rival as the larger man now towered over him. Raihan’s thrusting faltered if only for a moment, before he leaned down and closer to Leon, allowing him to wrap his arms around his broad shoulders, “R-Rai!” Leon’s voice hitched with a rough thrust from the other man, his legs shaking as he tried to them firmly wrapped around Raihan’s lower back, which seemed to become exceedingly difficult as he began mercilessly fucking him.

“That’s righ’, Lee,” Raihan began to growl as Leon buried his face in his shoulder. The Champion’s nails clawed at his back, issuing sharp hisses of pleasurable pain from his rival’s teeth, “I knew this is all you fuckin’ needed.” Raihan’s words held a heavy weight that Leon’s dazed mind could not process. He was being fucked into oblivion into the corner of the couch, and all that he was able to do was cling to the larger man for dear life - which is what he’d always, always wanted, what he felt that he always needed and deserved whenever Raihan dared to leave him. Leon could feel himself fading, his mind going blank as Raihan’s hips thrust harder into him; his vision blurred and the only thing mattered was getting over that edge. His body began to react on its own, nails clawing at the larger man’s back and sides as his hips reacted involuntarily to match Raihan’s never-ending, deep thrusts that sent him spiraling deeper and deeper into nirvana.

Lightning streaked across Leon’s mind as molten pools of aching desire began welling in the pit of his stomach; Raihan was pumping him full of hot cum at that merciless pace, the Champion’s eyes glazed and tearing up as he too was finally sent over the edge. Leon pressed himself into Raihan’s shaking, stiff body, a stream of cum dripping down his ass and thighs sending shudders all through his body as the orgasm continued to wrack his entire body. Before long, the two men were left a sweaty, heaving mess as they lay panting on the couch in a tight embrace. Leon shifted his legs as to pull Raihan closer, the other man’s cum-soaked dick still pressed deep inside of him; this deep, full feeling left the Champion’s head swimming. When he finally allowed the other man to pull out, Leon could feel his body go limp, his breath catching as Raihan met him in a rather tender kiss. Despite his worries, and regardless of where Raihan had been, this was where Leon had finally found his piece of heaven yet again.

————

The imminent fight the next day was to be expected, as it was almost a regular thing at this point. Raihan’s refusal to speak about what truly bothered him infuriated Leon, and he could never quite coax enough information out of the other man to truly understand his thought process and feelings on the entire situation. The ups-and-downs of such a difficult situation was wearing on all three of the men involved, but Leon felt quite personally, and deeply, that it was unfair to him most of all. He did not want to lose Raihan, but fighting this way, and continuing on as if everything was fine was a constant reminder to the two of them that _everything was not fine_. Raihan, on the other hand, despite his place as the middle man never seemed to lean either this way or that when confronted about the predicament he had put them all in; he was fine with the roles he played with whichever man he was with at the moment. It was easier to be tugged in both directions and act as if there wasn’t a third wheel being left out when he was with either of the two men. Was it fair? In essence, perhaps - but it wasn’t right, and that is what ate at Leon the most, the fact that Raihan seemed to find indignant peace among the turmoil and bullshit he’d set into motion.

Leon sat in Raihan’s lap after too long of a fight, this is where he often found himself when he was wounded and desperate for comfort. Their arguments ended the same, Leon breathless and fighting hopelessly to keep Raihan to himself, and Raihan rather calm yet withered and tired. There was no use in fighting about it anymore, they’d again come to the same conclusion as the last five fights, and it was simply _good enough_. Something Leon would just have to accept. He rested his head against the nape of Raihan’s neck, a familiar position they often took after a long fight.

“I still love you, despite all of this bullshit,” although truthful, it felt rehearsed at this point, he’d said it so many times before. Leon meant it with every ounce of his being: he loved Raihan.

“I.. I know, Lee.”

————

END

**Author's Note:**

> In this AU, I really like Raihan being the shitty middle man and orchestrator of a terrible situation for two people he whole-heartedly believes he loves. He's not REALLY that terrible, but it's fun to think that he's just playing both sides to get as much ass and as many kisses as possible.


End file.
